||[July 31st, 2007 at 11:42 am]
The HMMS... slaying Sues since 1996!
Story Or Series Title: Sora Forever.
Culprit Author's Name: DeadlyMaidenTsuki.
Full Name (plus titles if any): Sora Koryie *also bitches about the pseudoJapanese last name*
Hair Color (include adjectives): Doesn't say. It probably says in her "Movie" or in her first story with Sora, but I'm not going to bother to check.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Read above.
Describe Mary-Sue: It's Sora Koryie. You know, the character we all loved from "Enter Sora: The Girl With A Secret". Apparently now, she's Cliff's girlfriend. And she also knows karate.
Annoying Origin: The city?
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: She's in wuv wif Cwiffie, teh hawtest guy in Mineral Village.
Other Annoying Traits: When she gets angry, she develops fangs and her eyes turn red.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
Okay, bullet point number one: this writer cannot spell for SHIT. (Let's just ignore the fact that the writer spells "sequal" incorrectly many, many times.)
- "Sora walked tiredly over to the couch, and perpously flopped right ontop of Cliff." (I think maybe she spelled that wrong on perpous.)
- ""Why do you get si much heavier when you sleep?" He asked the air, as he tried to lift her." (I don't know! That's si weird.)
- ""She...She...She drueled on me..." He stuttered looking at the druel on his pants." (I just hate it when people druel on me.)
Also, notice how the author practically goes out of her way to make Sora as Mary-Sueish as possible.
- "I started practicing my martial arts, karate to be more exact, sure I was a black belt, but I had to keep my figure somehow." (Because, y'know, she's gonna have to use her karate skills - her BLACK BELT skills, even - sometime. And it's not like farming wouldn't help with "keeping her figure" either.)
- "Working on the famr helped my arm muscels, but karate helped the rest of me." (Clearly, this girl has no idea what it'd be like to work on a "famr".)
And if that isn't bad enough, the story seems to rush faster than any story I've ever read, without the exception of excruciating detail.
- "After a half hour, I finished, sweaty and tired I got a cup of water and sat on the couch. I chuged the water, and relaxed for a bit. I fell asleep about five minutes later... I woke up two hours later. I stood up and trudged to the bathroom. I almost had enough money for the second extention. I took a long hot bath... Then fell asleep again, well, after I got out of the bath." (Wow, makes you feel like you're part of the story, no?)
Oh, and I just LOVE how the author makes sure to include authors notes like, right in the middle of the story.
- ""Then next time I'll put it in my pants!" I said creepily.
Well, there we go. Ha, I bet you thought I was ending the chapter. Nope, just changing the date... It's the next day, and Sora's at the beach now..." (With an abrupt ending like that, and not to mention that the scrollbar wasn't all the way to the bottom? No, not really.)
- "Sora layed motionless...Kinda like a dead squirrel,(Thank you PacificTwist for teaching me how to spell squirrel!) except she was snoring..." (You had to have someone tell you how to spell squirrel? And you had to include the author note in the middle of the story?)
Waitwaitwaitwaitwait, but that's not the best part yet. Seriously, I think I about peed my pants when I saw this, waiting for me at the very end of the first chapter:
- "I think I did very nice with the first chapter... It rawks..." (We're so modest!)
Oh yeah, that was all in the first chapter too.