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The HMMS... slaying Sues since 1996!

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Love at first sight gone crazy! . . . ZOMG [March 28th, 2010 at 01:13 am]
The HMMS... slaying Sues since 1996!


[mood |blahblah]

The stories Summary "Chelsea and Doctor Tim meet each other and instantly fall in love. What will happen? Find out! Sorry for the lame title."

I had to add a category come on your flat out telling people your story lacks character development and substance off the bat.

Story Or Series Title:
Love at first sight gone crazy. Yeah Poetry ain't it?

 Author's Name:
Because she's got a real imagination and  probably twelve.

Full Name (plus titles if any): Chelsea.
Just saying it makes makes Doctor, Yeah Doctor blush and admit on the spot how pretty it is.

Hair Color (include adjectives):
Brown. Yay! Lush details!

Eye Color (include adjectives):
Yay! No details!

Unusual Markings/Coloration:
A perminint blush whenever someone of the opposite sex complements her.

Special Possessions (if any):

A hat full of OC names she keeps throwing at the readers.

Annoying Origin: Whatever half baked Natsume plot they gave her.

Annoying Connections To Canon Characters:
Traditional Mary-Sue everyone loves her. Her character isn't developed at all but if you'd like me to go into detail about how mysterious Doctors eyes are I can.

Annoying Special Abilities:

Other Annoying Traits:
Other people keep telling her its time to sheer her sheep and other farm tasks she should really be keeping tabs on herself.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Tim blushed a little.
"...No problem..." He said.

Then he walked out the door.

When he left Chelsea sighed dreamily.

"Lanna...I think I like him!" Chelsea said.

Lanna giggled. <- tehe, girls can like boys~

"Yeah, that was pretty easy to see!" Lanna said.

Chelsea smiled.

"I wonder if he likes me..." Chelsea said as she started thinking. <- Aww, she can think : D

Lanna sighed.

"Probably not, he just met you!" Lanna said as she frowned.

Chelsea frowned too. <- lol she realized how silly the story is here.

"Your right...oh well." Chelsea said. <- she's gonna get him in the sack anyway

Then the two walked out the door.

The stories not that bad. I guess.
At least its not in script forum.



[User Picture]From: keira_magdalena
2010-05-19 01:41 am (UTC)
Okay, I decided to read the whole thing.

...Why is it that it seems that all these characters know how to do is smile, frown, or blush? Also, why is it that like, sixteen of the words in the fanfic are randomly italicized? I mean, she gave some sort of explanation ("The italic letters are for words with empathize") but I don't know what... that means. If this whole story happened in a day, which it sure seems like from the way the fanfic is written, then godDAMN, is this Mary-Sueish.
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