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The HMMS... slaying Sues since 1996!

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New Member... [January 21st, 2011 at 07:33 pm]
The HMMS... slaying Sues since 1996!

hm_marysues

[cupidkirby]
[mood |apatheticapathetic]

Hey, I'm a new member here at a pretty-dead community...

Anyways, I happened across this place and absolutely loved it as I have crossed paths with many horrible Harvest Moon Mary-Sue stories before. I decided to start with a relatively short and simple story as it was one of the first ones I found (unfortunetly, I didn't keep track of all of those hundreds of other bad stories). Though, it isn't finished.

Story Or Series Title: Chelsea ,and a cheesy title! (nice.)
Culprit Author's Name: hey75123
Summary: Well, Chelsea likes the new boy: Will! ,and I added a bunch of new festivals which I think would be cool!
Link: www.fanfiction.net/s/6666192/1/Chelsea_and_a_cheesy_title

Full Name (plus titles if any): Chelsea ",and a cheesy title"
Hair Color (include adjectives): brown
Eye Color (include adjectives): blue (Thankfully, the author neglects spending paragraphs upon paragraphs telling the readers things they already know)
Describe Mary-Sue: Her habits involve talking in all caps and having internal conversations with the author after freaking out about her appearance.
Annoying Origin: Not mentioned
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Chelsea decides to make it her life mission to court Will after finding "him to be a(n) extremely cute blonde boy". Apparently, she feels sympathy for him since he was told to marry a pretty girl. Now he's fallen madly in love with her.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

I run over to Verdure Islands ,with all my tools in my backpack for any possible excuse. Not there. Walked over to Sprout island but he's not there. Last resort ,check the yaht! BUT THAT MEANS I'LL LOOK LIKE I WANT TO TALK TO HIM! THAT'S WHY IT'S LAST RESORT! Damn! I walk to the dock ,and knock on the door. "Yes?"

"May I enter?" , I tried to sound perfetional .

"Yes" I opened the door to find him eating some porridge. Vaughn's favorite food! HOW DID I KNOW THAT! Oh yeah ,Julia told me when I was trying to get his sunstone...

"How is your morning?" I asked trying to make conversation.

"Wonderful ,yours?"

"Great!", I looked at my feet. ,and He took it that it was his turn for conversation.

"So beautiful the sun is… just like you!"

"Really?, I'm more of a night person!" , I joked.

"Pardon me." I shrugged.

"Say, would you like to go to the dance? A fair maiden like you must go to such events!" I looked up ,surprised. I had completely forgotten! Taro thought there was not enough festivals, so he added it to the calender. "U-uh….. Sure!" , I stuttered, "Uh ,Bye!"

"Fairwell!"
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: keira_magdalena
2011-01-22 08:26 am (UTC)
OMG, it is so nice to see submissions from other people other than, well... me. o_o

Anyway, this is a wonderful find. The random spaces before commas is surprisingly common and irritating all at once. Also, what... exactly was the point of the first paragraph of her story? It makes no sense, and emoticons are always a big no-no in stories, even if they /are/ fanfictions.

Nice job! Now if only more of the members would post, then maybe my beautiful community wouldn't be so dead. :(
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[User Picture]From: cupidkirby
2011-01-22 10:21 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I'm just glad that I didn't mess up...

I'm surprised that it's so dead. It's not like these Harvest Moon fanfictions are going to die down anytime soon.
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[User Picture]From: keira_magdalena
2011-01-22 11:43 pm (UTC)
It was a little more active a few years back, when my friends would help me with the searching. You'll find a lot of them if you search back a few years; my friends are all funnier than I could ever hope to be. Then again, we were all active members of Fanfiction.net as well, so that made things a little easier. I would really love to see more submissions on here, though, so if you find more, please don't hesitate to post. And, of course, I'll try to look for some more as well to revive the place. :)
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