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Story Or Series Title: A Fresh Start Culprit Author's Name:… - The ANTI Harvest Moon Mary-Sues Community! [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
The HMMS... slaying Sues since 1996!

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[August 6th, 2011 at 09:35 pm]
The HMMS... slaying Sues since 1996!


Story Or Series Title: A Fresh Start
Culprit Author's Name: Kelai.

Full Name (plus titles if any): Danielle, although she prefers to go by "Dani".
Hair Color (include adjectives): Brunette. (It doesn't get mentioned in the story, but rather, in the author's note at the beginning of the second chapter.)
Eye Color (include adjectives): "soft green eyes". (Her eyes get brought up at least five times in the first two chapters; they're called "soft" twice, "bright" once, and "wide with innocence" another.)
Describe Mary-Sue: As we already know, her name is Dani. She's an 18-year-old, brunette, thin, green-eyed girl with a love for animals and farming, the main reason she decided to take over the Secai Farm at Mineral Village (along with the fact that her dead grandfather once used to maintain it). She has a horrible self-esteem, but she's actually quite beautiful. (No, seriously, the fanfic says so, and states it as a fact... and I quote, "She groaned, thinking that she looked awful; when the truth was that she looked beautiful".)

Oh yeah, and she's 18, brunette, slim, and has green eyes. Dunno if I mentioned that already. It's apparently pretty important, since it gets brought up in the fanfic about fifty-hundred times. Did I mention that she's a slender teen with soft green eyes and brown hair?

Annoying Origin: The city.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Twelve years prior to the time the fanfic takes place, she used to play with all the other girls in the village. Oh, and she likes... drumroll, please... CLIFF.
Other Annoying Traits: She's 18, brunette, thin, and green-eyed.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Little Miss Dani doesn't exactly give you a very good first impression in the first chapter; she's a sarcastic bitch to her family members for no apparent reason (none that are listed, anyway), even to her brother, who is sincerely worried for her. Yet, throughout the first few chapters, she consistently expresses bewilderment over the hostility that a select few villagers -- specifically Karen -- apparently have with her. Well golly, I can't imagine why! The only villager she manages to get a good response out of is Cliff, who almost immediately manages to bring up the fact that her beauty "stunned" him when he first saw her. In fact, they spend a good portion of the 7th chapter flirting their brains out and maintaining that same sort of friendship to the 8th, where the fanfic drastically ends. (Kelai hasn't added a new chapter in over four years.) Anyway, uh, hate to cut it off as abruptly as the end of the fanfic, but that's pretty much the whole premise of the story. So, uh. Y'know. Yeah. :|